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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22928344">The Mind's Paine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeonidasVIII/pseuds/LeonidasVIII'>LeonidasVIII</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy X-2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anyways Paine has trauma and I will Not be swayed from this, I really do think they're cute, It's gay if you squint</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:47:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22928344</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeonidasVIII/pseuds/LeonidasVIII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Paine wasn't afraid of guns, she didn't flinch at the sight of pyreflies, she was fine. That night hadn't left anything lasting aside from the scars on her chest. She was fine.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Mind's Paine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paine wasn't afraid of guns, she didn't flinch at the sight of pyreflies, she was fine. That night hadn't left anything lasting aside from the scars on her chest. She was fine.</p>
<hr/><p>"Rikku."</p><p>"Yunie."</p><p>"Step away from the plate."</p><p>"You first." Seeing a gun to Rikku's head and a knife to Yuna's throat was probably when Paine decided she maybe wasn't okay. She stared quietly at the girls, her heart feeling like it was about to race out of her chest even as she sat frozen, petrified from her fear. And then Yuna broke the stalemate, hand shooting down to snatch the last donut, and suddenly they were chasing each other, weapons abandoned in favor of tackling and wrestling and desperately trying not to crush the donut. Their shrieks of laughter were what gave her the ability to move again, and she stood and left, feigning simple boredom when all she wanted to do was run. She got up on deck and sat against the stairwell, staring out at the massive expanse of the sky. She hated the tears that tracked down her cheeks, but refused to wipe them. She could hear if someone was coming, she'd be fine. She'd have plenty of time to clean her face before anyone saw her.</p>
<hr/><p>Seeing Nooj was painful, made her scars ache. She flinched away from his touch, managed to make it look less like it, and refused to comment when they asked her about their past. It hurt, seeing him. And she deflected, dodged the question, did everything she could to keep from talking about it. When the other two had gone to bed, she sat on the deck, face buried in her hands, trying to will away Gippal and Baralai's startled cries, the pain each bullet had left even after it had stopped. The way the pyreflies had been swarming him then. She didn't stop the tears that fell, didn't even attempt to. She hated that he had power over her like this, that she'd think about him without him even there. She wanted to hate him. She knew she wouldn't.</p>
<hr/><p>Yuna was in the hole. She'd been too slow, hadn't grabbed her, and now she was gone. The pyreflies above it mocked her with their gentle glow, their slow, steady motions. She stood, grabbed her sword and stormed to the smoldering husk of the once aeon machina. She lifted her sword, ignoring Rikku's quiet call of her name, and brought it down with a shout. It sunk in, more than it had when it was "alive", and far less satisfyingly. She lifted it again, swung down on the husk again, and went for a third, only for Rikku to catch her arm, to pull her away from it.</p><p>"Paine, we need to contact the ship. Shinra has his CommSpheres, maybe he can see something." And wasn't this an odd reversal, Paine needing grounding from Rikku. She nodded a bit, pulled away, and kicked the husk as she walked past it. Perhaps she should drop it in the hole, get rid of it. Rikku was right, though. They had to find her, not wallow.</p>
<hr/><p>She'd told the story to Yuna. Part of it, at least. She didn't mention the pyreflies, the soldiers that gunned each other down, the source of the scars on her chest and back, why she didn't trust Nooj. She didn't want to put that burden on her. When Rikku was bounding around her, though, she thought that maybe she'd handle it better. Rikku had lived a life that knew loss, that knew betrayal and pain. Maybe she'd understand better the aching sense of loss that struck her when she found herself smiling at the girl's antics. Maybe she'd know how it feels, to see someone you used to know, and not recognize them. She smirked a bit as she teased the girl, wondering if she saw past the mask.</p>
<hr/><p>They'd saved the world. And now, Paine was sitting on the deck of the Celsius, wondering what to do with herself. Her adventure, the thing she'd dreamed of, was done. She turned her head a bit at the sound of light footsteps on the metal, recognizing them as Rikku's. Only she could be so quiet. Yuna had never needed to be, not really, Brother and Buddy were too heavy to be that quiet, and Shinra… Didn't come on deck. Not if he could help it. So, it was Rikku. The Al Bhed sat next to her, quiet for once, and Paine watched her out of the corner of her eye. And then she spoke.</p><p>"I, uh… I watched your spheres." Paine looked away.</p><p>"I was going to tell you about it."</p><p>"Thank you." She frowned in confusion, looking at her. Rikku smiled a bit, though her expression was more solemn than joyful. "For not telling Yuna. I don't think she'd have taken it very well." Paine nodded a bit. There was silence for a few moments. "I'm here if you need to talk about it, Paine. Or just sit and feel like shit for a while." She smiled, slipping into Al Bhed. "<em>It might do you some good to know you have someone who understands.</em>" She went to stand, startled when her wrist was caught by the warrior.</p><p>"Sit with me for a while. Please." Rikku sat next to her, took her hand. And they sat in silence, something she hadn't been sure Rikku could achieve before now.</p>
<hr/><p>Paine had had a bad week. The mission went wrong and she got trapped and she'd finally managed to find her way out. She activated her communicator.</p><p>"Can I get a ride?" The comms lit up with the voices of Buddy, Brother, and Shinra, but Rikku was silent. She decided not to speculate on that.</p>
<hr/><p>The Celsius landed, and she walked forward, getting on board. Rikku was there, and she grabbed her arm, pulled her toward the cabin. When they got there, she was shoved onto the bed, and Paine raised an eyebrow as Rikku switched into the White Mage dressphere. She felt cool magic run over her wounds, and closed her eyes at the soothing feeling. And then she was shoved and her eyes snapped open. Rikku was in her face now, looking angry.</p><p>"Why did you go in by yourself?! I told you I was coming! And then what happens, huh?! You get trapped, by yourself, in a stupid cave system, for a week! What if you didn't come back, Paine?!" She leaned back a bit more. She didn't want the thief in her face like this.</p><p>"Why are you so angry, Rikku?" Her eyes widened, her jaw twitched.</p><p>"Why am I angry?! Because you could have died! And then what, Paine?! Was I supposed to just keep going knowing you refused my help and died because of it?! Knowing I couldn't save you?! Couldn't protect you?! Knowing I lost you too?!" Her eyes were glistening with tears, and Paine went to speak, but Rikku wasn't done. "I watched your spheres! I know you hated that Nooj wanted to die! So I know you understand how I'm feeling! So why did you just run in headfirst without letting me do anything for you?!" A hiccuping sob escaped the blonde. "Do you not trust me? Do you think I'd hold you back? Do-"</p><p>"Shut up, Rikku. I don't think any of that. I didn't want you coming in and getting hurt because of me."</p><p>"I don't need protecting!"</p><p>"I know." Paine took her face in her hands, and it was soft and gentle and Paine sucked at that, was way better at breaking things, but instead she ran her thumb over Rikku's cheek, brushed away errant tears. The blonde starting sobbing in earnest, leaning against her, forehead pressed to her shoulder. Paine wrapped her arms around her, began to hum quietly. "Let me just keep you safe for a while, okay?" Rikku nodded, and the two sat like that for a while.</p>
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